Look! I tried not to say anything but why must you answer that thing every time it rings? I understand that we are not exclusive and it's hard to ignore its constant vibrations but if she were that important, wouldn't she be here in my place? Yes, I said 'she.' I know it's a girl because your voices changes and you don't call names. I don't care about the sex of your callers though. Just hang up or take her to your favorite restaurant. Either way, you don't need me.
How 'bout this? I am an only child (well, sort of). I want my attention! So, put it down, step away, and pay up!