I came across the video on The Young, Black, and Fabulous (TheYBF.com). I don't usually bring up politics and in no way am I trying to now but I believe in love and this video made my heart dance. (Plus, this is my favorite song on Musiq Soulchild's album "On My Radio.")
God is Love. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
...There was the one that made me feel like nothing else mattered. There was the one who made sleep easy. There was the one who made it impossible to stay mad. And there was the one. He was the one.
...He was the one my mother loved. He was the one who loved me unconditionally. He was the one who waited for me. He was the one who taught me. He was the encouraging one. He encouraged me to believe in me.
...I left him. I was too blind to see. He was the one. Stupid me.
...don't mean I'm not a fighter. For those of you that may have a problem with my blatant disregard for the King's English and every rule of grammar there is (most of which I probably don't even know), let me rephrase that. (Note about the author: I have a Bachelor's degree in Finance, not English.) The fact that I am a lover does not necessarily indicate that I am not a fighter as well. (Better?) The truth is, I was extremely bored at "work," I just got a scanner, and I'm alone in the office.So. I decided to doodle (or sketch) a little and this phrase was the one that came to mind at the moment, "Just because I'm a lover don't mean I'm not a fighter." (I hope I didn't offend any true artists with my obviously amateur drawing.) I, for whatever reason, thought this was a necessary post because...well, IDK! WTF? SMH. OMG! (I apologize if you are reading this with intent.) As I stated before, I "was" and still am bored at work and in the office alone playing with the scanner. (That is so professional, I know.) But if one were to take the sound of my fingers stroking the keyboard as any indication of my productivity, one might actually think I was very busy. (hehe)
It's about that time! (Quitting time is what I'm referring to just in case you were wondering.) This just may be the longest few minutes of my life so, let the countdown begin!
It's Friday. I'm sitting in my parked car under the veil of night's darkness watching the raindrops join the river water. Thoughts overwhelm me as I try to distract myself by singing but the song's lyrics only trigger a descend into deeper thought. People come and go all around me (mostly cars packed with young girls parking while they go off with their boyfriends to do who knows what) but after a while, all I hear is the mid tempo taps of the rain off the car's windshield. I don't think I'm even singing anymore. I'm absent and lost in thought...until my phone rings.
I don't really feel like speaking but I manage to say, Hello?
...No response. I listen a little while longer then repeat, Mm. Hello?
It's him. What up?
I grimaced. I hate when you say that.
What's wrong? Why do you sound so down? I smiled on the inside but it didn't translate to my face.
Nothing. I lied. I just didn't want to share. I planned to avoid acknowledgment as long as I could. I was mad at him but I couldn't bare telling him because it seemed so silly.
You don't have any reason to be sad. Where are you? He was always so sincere. (That's why I loved him.)
At the park. I still didn't feel much like talking but for him, I'd try.
At the park?! He repeated as if I hadn't spoken the King's English. What are you doing at the park?
Nothing. I paused. Thinking.
Thinking about what? I knew he would say that so, I fixed my mouth to lie again.
Nothing. (This response was rapidly growing old and I could hear the aggravation in his voice.)
He started to pose another question but instead said, I'll be there in a minute.
I couldn't help myself. The tears rolled down my face just as soon as I hung up the phone. I didn't want him to see me crying so I tried to wipe them away but for every one I swiped, two more fell in its place. Just as the well ran dry, I looked over my shoulder and he stood there in the rain. I unlocked the door and he got in. Neither of us spoke. I rose from my slumped position, met his embrace, and I have no idea what happened after that.
I live in my head and that's not such a bad place to be. It's much better than this so-called reality. Sometimes. Best left alone but sometimes desire company-- just that of one though. Don't need two because I have my own. Many talents and the choice to bury or use. Brain child, Miss Write, and a jack of all trades. I'm not too sure they get it but I certainly don't care. I've got to get this out. I must put it out there. My friends say I'm crazy (my top ain't screwed on too tight) but I haven't been committed yet, so...I write.