Friday, November 20, 2009

Reading is Fundamental

I'm a bit of a nerd in that I enjoy reading (and I don't mean magazines although, I enjoy the pretty pictures). I falter, however, because it can take me what seems like forever to finish one. This is most likely due to my lack of focus. I pick up one, read a little, put it down, and pick up another until I've either gotten through them all or forgotten with which I left off. So, I suppose I prefer the term "rotational reader." (Yeah, I like the way that sounds!) I seldom read one book the whole way through but I have some vague memory of reading a book in one sitting a couple times when I was a youngster. But I'm a woman now and I don't have time for that. I prefer the spice and everything nice that comes with diversity. Once my mind has settled into one story, I like to jumpstart it by beginning another. It keeps me sharp and as I ponder this thought, I've realized that this in fact, might be my philosophy on life.
My life is a series of story lines, characters, and plots that although seemingly unrelated share one thing--ME. So, if you don't get it, just keep reading. It will begin to make sense one day or you'll eventually forget where you left off and then, it won't matter. So, just keep reading!


It's in these moments when the creative juices are flowing that I feel most alive. I'd been feeling so uninspired as of late and I'm still a bit withdrawn but I'm coming out! That's reason enough for me to celebrate with a post. It's funny how people and (unseen) forces may try but (as much as I hate to be cliche') "this joy I got, the World didn't give it and the World can't take it away." These are my (God-given) gifts and you can't have them. I may choose to share every now and again but they belong to me just the same. Oh, and they are not for sale. Money is funny anyway. So, what are you going to do now?

You may as well sit back and enjoy the ride because this is going to be good. I promise, you won't be disappointed. You may be wondering what exactly I mean but...That's for me to know and you to find out. (Shoot! I'm being cliche' again, aren't I?)

Monday, August 3, 2009

You're Gonna Spend It Anyway...

So. Here I am at my favorite place-- just me and the bargain buys. I have to be somewhere in thirty but I don't feel like running so, I take my time. Better late than never, I tell myself. With Michelle Obama: First Lady of Fashion and Style under my arm, I turned to take one last look before going back to the counter to pick up the couple of CDs I'd left behind. And there it was. Should I Do What I Love? (or do what I do-- so I can do what I love on the side) Those of you who have been following this blog know that I've often asked myself this very question. I still have no answer. So, I figured, You're gonna spend it anyway....and I bought it.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Hello all!! I took this picture of a flower given to me by a co-worker and just couldn't resist the urge to blog. To me, it just screamed BLOG!! So, here goes!
It's been a while and a lot has changed but one thing remains the same. I don't think I'll ever be content until I've done what it is I think I was born to do. And that is be a musician. I mean, it won't be so until I've had the chance to spread my musical wings and (as predictable as it sounds...) fly. I feel like a caged bird and I, not unlike Maya Angelou, know why it sings.
Oh! And I've decided to remain single until I'm's just not worth it right now.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

If Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend,...

...these shoes are the LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!

I came home, dropped my shoes on the floor, and flopped down next to them. They landed just like this and the (wannabe) photographer in me thought to take a picture. I've had them so long, I don't even remember where I purchased them but I know I'll love them forever.
I was going to ramble on but I think I'll let it at this.
I love these shoes...forever!!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Can you keep a secret?

I used to think I'd go crazy without the gift but now it seems like I'm going crazy because of the gift. I played today but it just didn't feel the same and I don't know what to do with myself (or the gift, now). I used to play because it simply felt so good. It didn't matter what the circumstances may have been. I played. Now I play when I have to and that's it. I even try to avoid playing actually! I never thought it would be me but that's me. I don't even mention my gift most of the time (obviously aside from the times I've mentioned it on this blog). When I do talk about it, I speak of it in past tense or refer to it in the same way one would an afterthought.
As selfish (or silly) as this might sound, I feel like it used to be "my little thing." No one knew how special it was to me. I couldn't walk by a piano without at least touching it (literally, no exaggeration). I used to love the instrument. I'd put in my favorite CD and play along. I seamlessly went from one tune to the next. I'd play for hours if uninterrupted. That is, until the word got out...
So. Now, I sing when I'm alone and think no one's listening. But shhhhh!! Don't tell anybody!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Oh, I almost forgot!!...The Best/Worst Thing to Happen to Me Yet...

In other OMG! WTF! news, I quit my job today. I mean, I just up and quit! No calling in, no two weeks--nothing. I'm not even sure Boss Man's figured it out yet. Well, actually I'm still here (at work) but I'm obviously not working. I just pretend. (Didn't you catch the Oscars? And the award for Best Actress in a Blah Work Environment goes to...Nicole "2Sense" Write!!)

...Back in the real world (where seven strangers picked to live in a house stop being polite and start getting real), I've begun the countdown. (I actually started last Monday.)

As I was sitting at my "desk" (it's really a card table) waiting for the phone to ring again, the Boss Man came in, closed the door, and deeply sighed. Uh oh. That's no good. I thought to myself.

"Nicole,..." (I'll spare you the boring details of the drawn out dialogue.) "So, instead of giving you two weeks notice, I'm giving you four. If you find something else before that time period is up, that's fine. Just let me know and we'll work something out. And again, I am very sorry..."

Oddly enough, I was giggling and dancing on the inside but I managed to conjure up a slated facial expression as I reassured him that I completely understood and appreciated his courtesy.

...What's next for 2sense? I don't know. Maybe I'll make the big move to GA. Or maybe I'll make an even bigger move to Philadelphia. Or maybe I won't. You tell me. What's next for 2sense?


There's nothing anyone can tell me to stop me from loving these shoes! Perfect fit, perfect heel, perfect color, and perfect everything! If these shoes were a man, I'd turn in my player's card and retire from the game because I am so in love!

But that's not all. It would be terribly unlike me to post without mentioning "him." Seeing as how lately I've been doing quite a bit of juggling, maybe I should say "them." So....

In today's news...

I'm Nicole Write coming to you live from Stuckonstupidville, where according to the locals, love is in the air and emotions are everywhere. One bystander says, "He sounded so hurt when he said, 'I mean, it's like you just toleratin' me. Like you don't take me serious. Guys like me marry women like you.' And another recalls, "I told him he could go to bed and we'd talk later but he insisted, 'We haven't talked in days. We've got too much catching up to do....Just promise me we'll talk tomorrow.' It's strange. I mean, since when did guys want to talk?"

More on these emotional breakdowns when we return from this break...

0 to 60

How is it possible for one woman to juggle (let's just say) two men without feeling like a completely jerkalicious, deceitful slut?
I don't know but I've got to figure it out soon because I've managed to get myself into a little bit of a mess. I don't know how this happened. Wait, I lied. I do know but I mean, how was I to know it would turn out this way? I can't help it if I'm beautiful and undeniably attractive, right?
I was stranded in forever single land with no hopes of rescue just last week but today, I'm a circus act juggling these men while walking a tight rope in my cute size 8 clown shoes. (F.Y.I.: My shoe game is tight even in my bizarre exaggerations.)
I'm a pimp? I must admit that a part of me enjoys the attention and the thought of having multiple men adore me's just not right, is it? I love options but how do I make a choice?
Should I even choose? I mean, don't men do this to us girls all the time? No one has made any commitments here so, why can't I go to a concert with one and a movie with another if I feel like it? (Okay, I'll admit that did sound a little not-so-ladylike but...)
It's like they came out of the woodwork!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Cool 25!

I was tagged on facebook and posted a list of 25 there but since then, I've thought of what I consider to be much cooler things to list. You may not care to know anymore about me but then again, if you didn't care to know, why would you be reading this post?...Buckle up because this is gonna be a wild ride! (lol, j/k)
1. I've never been married but I feel as though I have been divorced (from music). I write about it from time to time and I sometimes refer to it as "him" or "Musik." (Check out my most recent post, "Mrs. B's Studio.")
2. I almost always refer to "the one" as "him," too. This one may be a little confusing after reading #1 but uhm,...if I mention divorce (or something of that nature), I am probably referring to music. Otherwise, I'm actually talking about a guy. I'm not sure I've met "him" yet but I often write about the way I imagine things will/would be.
3. Everything I write is loosely based on my reality. Nothing is all fiction. Nothing is all fact. Some more fiction than fact and vice versa but all somewhat true (and false). (Is it just me or did I just make a totally circular statement?)
4. Although I do have ambitious career goals, I sometimes think I'd rather stay home "barefoot and pregnant." I just love the idea of motherhood (and having a husband that brings home the bacon).
5. I believe in truth and love but sometimes I wish I weren't so passionate about these things. In an effort to be loving and honest, I share too much.
6. I used to want to move away from home (and still do). "Home is where the heart is." is what I'd tell myself. Then, I realized where my heart is-- at home.
7. I used to think I was one of those people who's dreams just would never come true. Then, I thought again. When I was a young girl, I dreamt about be a musician. (I am.) I dreamt about being a poet and writing short stories and books. (I am and I do.)
8. I am often amazed by the mysterious works of the Lord. (Refer to #7) It is true that I don't do the things I dreamt about in the capacity that I thought I would (or at least not yet) but I do them. I have realized dreams in ways even I never imagined.
9. Just for clarifying purposes, I'll be more specific. As a young girl, I dreamt of being a traveling musician. I wanted to travel with and play (saxophone) for an artist like...I don't know but you get the point.
10. I dreamt about being an author. I wanted to write books and I started plenty of them. I have no idea where they are now but...I guess because of my short attention span, those "books" have turned into poems and blog posts.
11. Enough of that dream talk (for now). I used to have my right nostril pierced. I loved it and thought it was the cutest thing ever but I only had it for two or three months (if that long). I was visiting a friend for the weekend and he hated it so, I took it out (because I was tired of him giving me funny looks and bringing it up every five seconds) with intentions of putting it back in when I got home....I guess you could say I never got home. (I still miss that piercing even though I realize it would be mildly inappropriate now.)
12. When I was little, I liked to crawl under things. Every now and then, I'd fall asleep and get into so much trouble because my mother couldn't find me.
13. I've always been hungry for knowledge. As a child, I read the encyclopedia FOR FUN.
14. I have a REALLY REALLY hard time watching most movies. They bore me. I'd rather watch a 30 minute tv segment.
15. Question: How come the music channels (BET, Vh1, & MTV) rarely ever actually play music? I'm slightly annoyed by this.
16. For a brief second before undergrad graduation, I thought I wanted to open a boutique and design shoes. I still wouldn't mind being a store owner because I love clothes and putting outfits together. That's a major undertaking (store ownership) though. I did the research and I'm not sure I'm that passionate about it. If I could just come in and dress the mannequins, that would be perfect for me! (That doesn't sound too profitable though.)
17. I stay up really late at night and hate myself in the morning (like right now).
18. I love men in suits and the taller, the better.
19. I love to decorate. I would consider a career in interior design but I think the aspect of having to please someone else with my designs would take the joy out of it for me.
20. I think I'm a commitment phob.
21. I love options. I MUST have a choice (or at least feel like I do).
22. For some reason, I still get a little excited about and feel strangely connected to other left handed people. I guess I feel like, 'Yeah, you're a weirdo just like me!' (And I'm slightly embarassed that I admitted that.)
23. I wish I were one of those women that loves to be in the kitchen but (as of yet), I'm not. I like to think that one day I will be but at the moment, I'm simply not. (Sorry guys.) That's just the truth. I will cook for you but I may not enjoy it that much.
24. In reference to #23, I think it's a bunch of bull when women claim to love cooking. I think it's a ploy to attract men.
25. I dance and sing along in my car just about everyday. People pull up next to me at red lights with perplexed looks on their faces. Sometimes they even point as they're passing. I think its funny! I continue (and exaggerate even more) as if I didn't notice them. Someone's always telling me, 'I saw you driving the other day but you didn't see me! You were busy singing or something....'

Mrs. B's Studio

I think it's happening again. I could have sworn the ink was dry and the divorce was final but yet again,...She asked and I could not decline. This woman is like a (grand)mother to me! Besides I do still love him (even though I can't stand him sometimes, I mean, most of the time).

I stuck my head into the door of the barbershop hoping not to be bombarded by the lustful stares of a room full of old men. To my surprise, there were only two people in the room. (Well, it was after hours, now that I think about it.) The men who obviously were engaged in a conversation they didn't want to share quickly stopped talking and turned to face me. So, I smiled and said, "Hi. I'm looking for Mrs. B. Is she here?"

The chubbier of the two responded, "Yeah, she's upstairs in the studio. Go back out, around, and up the stairs on the side."

I turned and frowned once I was sure the men could no longer see my face. Shoot! It's cold outside. I thought to myself. And I'm already sick! The cold air hit my face like a brick before I'd even cracked the door.

I scurried around the building and almost tripped up the uneven and poorly assembled stairs when I was met by a man and his wife. He looked at me as though he was trying to hold in a laugh.

"These stairs'll get you if you're not careful!" was my feeble attempt to save what was left of my 'cool.'

He nodded in agreement and chuckled to himself while his wife flashed a toothy grin as they passed me. It seemed like the stairs went on forever but I finally reached the top and turned the knob. I was greeted by what seemed like fifty young children but in actuality, was only about ten. I found Mrs. B sitting by one of the ten scolding him for not practicing. She looked up just as I thought to sneak by the door so I could get a better look at the studio.

"Hey! I'm so glad you came! This is Ms Nikki, children. She came to help us! Aren't you glad she's here?" she exclaimed to the nine. The tenth had found something more interesting to entertain himself with (the spider that crept from under the piano he sat in front of). She called to a little boy sitting quietly near the back of the room. "Vic, grab you book and come with us."

We turned down the short corridor and she continued. "You can take Vic in the practice room and work with him until it is time for his lesson. He'll show you what page he's on." I smiled in an effort to conceal my true feelings. 'Okay. Here we go.' is what I thought but, "Okay! Works for me!" is what I said....

Eight students later, I realized something. I had been drafted...again.

Mrs. B turned to me with delight all over her face. "Have you ever thought about teaching piano lessons?"

Stunned and perplexed, I paused because I knew the truthful answer to that question. "Yes, I've thought about it but not too seriously I suppose."

She grinned. "See, now I can take on more students and let you branch off with some. You can charge however, whomever, and whatever you want! You can make money!"...

I told Musik, he could have everything-- the house, the car, the time share, and even the kids! But he's apparently the 'If I can't have you, no one else will.' type of guy. I've done all I can to seperate myself from him (figuratively and literally) but...

I shut off the lights in the studio's back room and we made our way towards the door. Mrs. B was just about done telling one of her many stories about life as a piano teacher and Mr. B followed closely behind. We made our way down those troublesome stairs and before we departed, I reassured her.

"Thank you, Mrs. B! I'll see you at the same time next week!"

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Going Green

Diggin’ this energy and well aware that this will never stay between just you and me because I can barely contain myself. Here I am, head over heels, heels over head, and nose wide open. Mine prefers your scent over any other. But you’re unavailable right now so I’ll leave this message after the tone-- yours deep, rich, and resonating through the drums in my ear. The cadence heavy on the 808 and careful not to bust the tweeter--yet.

**Beep** I know you hear me calling, the inflection in my voice rising and falling. Intonation. Articulation. Modulation.

You study my instrumental melody. There are no words even close to my lips. But the sudden dip in my hips sends you to the next bar. This sixteen just as euphonious as the first. Almost reaching the pinnacle but not yet. Pause. Run the tape back, flip it, and turn up the treble.

This message is getting long. Let the machine stop. There’s no need for its technology. My voice coming through crystal clear and almost loud enough for the neighbors to hear--you playing my song. Tune’s stuck in my head--over and over again. No words. Just sound. Pounding the speakers and I’m riding the beat.

Far from ignorant of bliss like this and hooked on your refrain….

IF you keep up with this blog, you may recognize this from, "Prototype." I used it in that story as an excerpt from a "book" the character (me) was reading. (I kinda heart that blog post. So, if you haven't read it, please do.) Anyway! It's actually (in real life) something I wrote (back in or around September 2008) about a guy that I've known for a while (more like years) and it's called "Voicemail." I'm not really sure why I re-posted it but he thought he would make a "fye ass" song. What do you think?

Oh! Let me clarify one thing. "Voicemail" is the love child of adoration and imagination. I have no idea what "it" would really be like (if you get my drift).