Monday, December 1, 2008

I Have No Idea What Happened After That

It's Friday. I'm sitting in my parked car under the veil of night's darkness watching the raindrops join the river water. Thoughts overwhelm me as I try to distract myself by singing but the song's lyrics only trigger a descend into deeper thought. People come and go all around me (mostly cars packed with young girls parking while they go off with their boyfriends to do who knows what) but after a while, all I hear is the mid tempo taps of the rain off the car's windshield. I don't think I'm even singing anymore. I'm absent and lost in thought...until my phone rings.

I don't really feel like speaking but I manage to say, Hello?

...No response. I listen a little while longer then repeat, Mm. Hello?

It's him. What up?

I grimaced. I hate when you say that.

What's wrong? Why do you sound so down? I smiled on the inside but it didn't translate to my face.

Nothing. I lied. I just didn't want to share. I planned to avoid acknowledgment as long as I could. I was mad at him but I couldn't bare telling him because it seemed so silly.

You don't have any reason to be sad. Where are you? He was always so sincere. (That's why I loved him.)

At the park. I still didn't feel much like talking but for him, I'd try.

At the park?! He repeated as if I hadn't spoken the King's English. What are you doing at the park?

Nothing. I paused. Thinking.

Thinking about what? I knew he would say that so, I fixed my mouth to lie again.

Nothing. (This response was rapidly growing old and I could hear the aggravation in his voice.)

He started to pose another question but instead said, I'll be there in a minute.

I couldn't help myself. The tears rolled down my face just as soon as I hung up the phone. I didn't want him to see me crying so I tried to wipe them away but for every one I swiped, two more fell in its place. Just as the well ran dry, I looked over my shoulder and he stood there in the rain. I unlocked the door and he got in. Neither of us spoke. I rose from my slumped position, met his embrace, and I have no idea what happened after that.


jwriter said...

Did this really happen? Not that I need to know, but I will say that this was a good post. I hope you are ok and that blogging about it helped you cope. Unknown sadness is to me the worst kind. Just sad and you can't pinpoint why. You haven't visited me in a while so I look forward to your comments, blog suggestions, and overall 2Sense.

Nicole said...

Thanks, J! Yes, this actually happened. Well...with the exception of the embrace part! (lol) I was truly upset for whatever reason and he came to find me sitting in my car at the park contemplating. But instead of embracing me we just sat talking for hours. I just liked the embrace ending better....Yeah, I noticed that you've been kind of quiet yourself. I guess we all take a little break, maybe. But I will be visiting u soon!! Be on the lookout!!

jwriter said...

I just finished finals and november I posted a whole lot of stuff lol. Yeah I'm trying to get back into the game with blogging cause I really enjoy it. But I don't know what I enjoy more reading or writing or commenting lol. (I liked the embrace ending better too.)

Nicole said...

I know what you mean. Reading and writing run neck and neck for me. I think writing wins by a hair. But one is nothing without the other as far as I'm concerned.....Yeah, the embrace makes for better dramatic effect.

A "Christ-Like" Prince said...

2Sense, you writing is good. Very transparent!! I've read quit a few of your blog entries and I like your style "very different" I'm new to blogging but not new to writing. (check out both my blog sites and tell me what you thing....I'm interested to hear what the "PEOPLE" think about what a Prince has to say") but Just like everyone else that blogs I have so much in my head that I either say it or I get out on paper. Not to boast or brag but to help and heal. Why do people write???? No one will ever know the real answer because there is no real answer. People write because everyone has a story to tell and what better way to tell then to write it.

Til Next Time,