"Tony" (a reference to the song T.O.N.Y. by Solange Knowles; Haven't heard it? Give it a listen!)

I'm probably just obsessing again but I saw that "beautiful thing" today and I must say, that "thing" is still pretty cute. I'm trying not to get too excited but I wouldn't be myself if I didn't let my imagination run away with me. I don't even know why I lit up when I saw this and I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. But... "I really like T.O.N.Y." And I still remember so,..."I really miss T.O.N.Y."

Voicemail

...Kinda wish I hadn't written it. On second thought, I enjoyed writing it. I just should have let the inspiration remain anonymous but noooo, I just had to do it! It was fun and I got a kick out of it but now there's no more. The mystery of anonymity is non-existent. Just in case, you're wondering, "Voicemail" was written about the best sex I've never had and in one of my finest moments of randomness, I decided it would be a good idea to expose myself to...well, we'll just call him, "Muse." "Voicemail" may not have been the first but I'm pretty sure it was the last. I'm slighty confused because I'm a little disappointed by this. For who knows how long, "Muse" (or at least the idea of who I thought he was) had been my fuel. So, I guess this leaves me stranded and stuck on stupid. I should be used to this S.O.S. When will I learn? Luckily, I have at least learned to laugh at myself (sometimes while crying but laughing nonetheless)and the funny thing is,...now that I've revealed myself, he'll probably think everything I write is about him (kind of like, 'You're so vain. You probably think this song's about you.').

9.15.08

When they say "I don't know where to start," I always tell them, "Try the beginning." So, here we are. I created this blog with intentions to post entries daily (and more often than that, if possible) but I have failed to do that. I lack inspiration and my once active imagination is anything but. To make it plain, I just don't "feel" like writing. My mind is saying go but these creative juices just AIN'T gon' flow....well, not tonight....His song just came on. I can't believe that after all this time, I still give him possession. He didn't write a lyric or sing a single note but he is the only thought that comes to mind when I hear...It seems like a waste of my brain's energy to invest in the thought of what that "beautiful thing" could have been but "it" is still present in the forefront of my mind. Well, maybe not the forefront, just now because I am torturing myself with the tune of this song as my tool of choice. And it's gone...just as suddenly as it came.